OK, another personal post: my girlfriend told me to do this! Basically, you have to put your music player on random, with your entire collection, and (being honest), choose each random track as it comes and put them next to these headings in order:

Opening Credits: I Just Can’t Wait To Be King (The Lion King)
Waking Up: This Time Next Year (Sunset Blvd)
First Day At School: Orinoco Flow (Celtic Chillout)
Falling In Love: When You Are Old And Grey (Tom Lehrer)
Fight Song: From Russia With Love (Ballroom Instrumental)
Breaking Up: Could We Start Again Please (JCS)
Prom: A Whiter Shade of Pale (Procol Harum)
Life: Be Lucky (Show of Hands)
Making babies: Land of the 1000 Dances (Ballroom Jive)
Mental Breakdown: I Hold Your Hand In Mine (Tom Lehrer)
Driving: The Music of the Night (Phantom)
Flashback: Memory (Evita)
Getting back together: No Questions Asked (Fleetwood Mac)
Wedding: Read ‘Em and Weep (Meat Loaf)
Birth of Child: Por Una Cabeza (Carlos Gardel)
Final Battle: I Can Hear Music (Beach Boys)
Death Scene: Hushabye Mountain (Chitty Chitty Bang Bang)
Funeral Song: Santiago (Show of Hands)
End Credits: All I Ask of You (Phantom)
… I think my music player knows things that I don’t. What’s more worrying is that I didn’t cheat: that was the actual list. Whether you believe me or not, I know I’m not lying. I’m worried.